


You're The Only Thing I'll Never Let Go

by mccolfer



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, also a lot of real people are in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mccolfer/pseuds/mccolfer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Phil Lester was Absolutely Not Jealous, and Dan was distressed over it because his relationship with Phil is and always will be #Complicated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You're The Only Thing I'll Never Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I've been writing this fic since October of 2015 so excuse the fact that all the events featured in this are a little outdated.
> 
> On to the disclaimer. This fic features several real human beings (some of which I barely know) and is mostly based on real events. I clearly can't speak for them or their feelings at that given event. All of this is fictional, including, maybe even especially, Dan and Phil. Links will be provided as examples if you don't know or remember the event in question.
> 
> Shout out to my lovely friend [Gail](https://twitter.com/elaborateheists) for betaing for me, and for keeping me sane these past few days as I move into college.
> 
> The title is from [The Only Thing That Matters by Blink 182](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZhRThsUQsg), which is Dan to Phil at all times, am I right?

_i._

Dan didn’t really notice the looks that [Sam Smith](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ZLuHitwMfE) was sending him until they were through with the interview. They were backstage at The BRITs nominations show and they only had time to interview a couple of the nominees. They were being rushed around like crazy, so he wasn’t exactly at the top of his game.

They had been shoved into a room and five minutes later Sam Smith stumbled in and Dan was adequately starstruck, but not enough to be embarrassing. He liked the music Sam had been putting out, and really admired when he came out of the closet. God knows Dan would love to be that brave, but there was just too much at risk.

He made sure that when he and Phil sat on the couch, they were in the correct Dan and Phil order. He had found over the years that it leads to much less confusion if he’s just always on Phil’s right. It’s very much ingrained into their everyday routine, even when they’re not around other people. Stuff like that happens when you spend nearly every moment of every day with the same person.

Sam Smith was next to Phil, looking actually kind of calm, which was a relief. Dan had heard that he was a pretty shy guy, so he was worried it would take a while for him to open up during the interview; especially since he and Phil have an easy chemistry and sometimes it’s hard for the people they’re interviewing to catch up. Dan wished he knew that Sam would be all chill and maybe he could have gotten him to do the stupid water gargling game that Phil came up with instead.

They breezed through some basic questions and jokes, building up a bit of a rapport before bringing out the game. Phil scooched closer to Sam to read off the paper and the little ball of anxiety in Dan’s stomach suddenly grew. Having Phil right there next to him in his life as his support system was a big reason why Dan was even able to do half the stuff he does.

He spread his legs subtly, to make sure that his knee was touching Phil’s as his best friend explains the game to Sam. Phil momentarily made eye contact with Dan, pressing his knee ever so slightly back. It's a silent reassurance. It's a ‘ _Yes, I'm here, it's okay_ ’ and it was everything Dan needed. He made some jokes at his own expense before taking a sip from one of the glasses on the table in front of him.

After all the water bullshit was over, Sam was laughing and the people behind the camera were trying hard not to, so Dan felt like it was at least good for something. Then they were being told to wrap it up so they quickly figured out an outro and Dan congratulated Sam on his win one last time before they turned to smile at the camera.

“Alright, cut there,” The cameraman said, giving the three men a thumbs up before he and his crew start collecting their stuff to head to the next room.

"It was really nice meeting you guys," Sam said kindly, but he's looking only at Dan.

He was so momentarily flustered by the look that he forgot to reply. Luckily, that’s what Phil’s there for, “Yeah! I hope you had a nice time watching Dan embarrass himself.”

Sam chuckled airily, still not even glancing over at Phil. “Of course,”

Dan got up off the couch just a little too quickly and he wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, which were already slightly damp from all the damn gargling. He looked around desperately for an excuse to not look at Sam anymore. Phil followed suit but more gracefully, or as graceful as Phil Lester could possibly be. He politely smiled at Sam once more before walking over to the crew and asking where they’re going next. Dan rushed over to his side, already feeling even a tiny bit safer just being next to his friend.

A couple awkward minutes later, they’re finally all ready to head to Pixie Lott’s dressing room and Dan couldn’t have been more grateful. Though he did make the mistake of glancing at Sam one last time before they left and catching a grin thrown in his direction. It made Dan’s cheeks heat up, feeling way more uncomfortably flustered than flattered.

He tried to share a meaningful look with Phil, to get some kind of gauge on his feelings. Had he noticed what Sam was doing? Did he notice sooner than Dan did?

But when he finally caught Phil’s gaze, there was nothing there. _Nothing_. Not even any anticipation for the next interview, like there usually was when they do stuff like this. He was completely closed off.

It wasn’t time to have a serious discussion in that moment though. They still had a couple videos to film, then they were allowed to sit through the show. By the time they got home, the topic was kind of irrelevant. But that nervous feeling in Dan’s stomach when Sam Smith smiled at him didn’t go away for a couple days.

* * *

_ii._

Dan felt kind of pathetic when he desperately missed his best friend after Phil left him for a couple days to go on vacation with his family. The Lesters had even offered for Dan to join them, but he and Phil respectfully declined. It’s totally stupid, because they spend every day together. Dan has definitely spent enough time with the other man to handle a couple days alone, right? Apparently not. Even as he boarded his flight, he was texting Phil. Their conversations have mostly been just a series of complaints and Phil trying to cheer Dan up by telling him dumb jokes. Right now mostly revolving around the fact that he was on his way to meet him in Florida right now.

Dan had to briefly put his phone in his pocket to get on the plane and find his seat, and that alone made him anxious. He was surrounded by grumpy strangers who looked ready to kill anyone who even looked their way. It’s not the ideal social experience.

He was nearly settled in his seat and ready to pull out his phone again when there was suddenly a commotion at the front of the plane. He stood up to try to see what was happening, finally an advantage to being abnormally tall. A male flight attendant seemed to be exceptionally happy and handing out ice lollies to the passengers. As he got closer, Dan got a better look at the guy, gasping when he realized.

“Jack Harkness.” He stated, right to [John Barrowman’s](https://www.instagram.com/p/lyjSmHpgNc/) beautiful face.

"At your service!" John Barrowman said with a radiant grin.

"This is now the best day of my life."

"Bet you didn't think Captain Jack Harkness would be giving you something to suck on!" He said with a wink and a smirk, holding out a wrapped ice lolly.

Dan's face went bright red as he let out a nervous giggle. He takes the lolly but quickly put it down and whipped out his phone. "Can I have a picture?"

"Can you take your pants off?" [John](https://twitter.com/danisnotonfire/status/446853868014817280) replied with another lewd wink.

Dan snorted helplessly in response, holding up his phone with shaky hands. John Barrowman leaned in close and pursed his lips towards Dan's cheek. He's so glad he didn't actually kiss him because Dan might have fainted.

Then John was off, running to go flirt with more passengers. Dan sat down in his seat, unwrapping the frozen treat that was given to him with jittery fingers. He unlocked his phone to examine the picture he got.

He looked pretty bad in it but John Barrowman looked adorable and flirty as always. Dan can't help but smile at the picture. He quickly sent it to Phil, typing in all caps what had happened.

Phil’s reply was short and not at all as excited as Dan wanted him to be. Weird… Well, it was pretty early in the morning, maybe he was just tired. But no matter what excuse Dan made for him, he couldn’t shake the sudden bad mood that took over as soon as he read Phil’s reply.

He typed up an Instagram post to distract himself.

* * *

_interlude._

“What are we?”

“Dan, you’re drunk.” Phil answered, his voice hard but still slightly amused.

“I’m not drunk…” Dan slurred, as if Phil wasn’t currently holding him up and practically dragging him to their cab.

They had been invited to celebrate some YouTuber they barely spoke to reaching some kind of subscriber milestone. Dan didn’t want to go, but Phil insisted that they keep up appearances and try not to lose all their friends besides each other.

Dan personally didn’t think they needed anyone besides each other, but apparently Phil disagreed.

The night turned into Dan “having a bit of fun for once” and getting totally drunk as if he was 18 again. Phil on the other hand settled for a couple beers to maintain a solid buzz so he wasn’t a total party pooper. He wasn’t about to totally lose control around a bunch of people he didn’t trust. They were all view hungry vloggers, he trusted them about as far as he could throw them, and he wasn’t very strong.

When Dan started getting touchy-feely drunk, Phil decided to call it a night. Get him out before he ended up jokingly making out with someone and getting caught on camera or something. Curse Slutty Drunk Dan Howell and Phil for caring so much about him.

After about a five minute struggle, Phil finally managed to shove Dan’s gangly limbs into the back seat of the cab and rattled off their address to the driver. But god forbid Dan stay quiet for two minutes.

“No, but, seriously, what are we?”

“I am _not_ having this discussion with you in the back of some random taxi.”

“So we can have it when we get home?”

Phil sighed, he saw no other way to get out of this. “Yes, Dan.”

“Because I feel like,” Dan continued anyway, “I know we agreed to be friends, but like, I don’t think we can, y’know. Like... I can’t. I know that.”

Phil let out a quiet, pained groan. “Dan, please be quiet. I told you, we’ll talk when we get home.”

Dan pouted and slumped down in his seat. Apparently he was now regressing from 18 to about 5. Phil sighed once again, holding his forehead and rubbing at both his temples with one hand. He was desperately hoping that Dan would just pass out the second they got home, because he really didn’t want to have this discussion while Dan was drunk off his ass.

The “what are we?” discussion was no doubt inevitable and unavoidable, but Phil kind of wasn’t ready to have it. He didn’t really know the answer yet and it made him uncomfortable to jump into something he wasn’t prepared for. He wasn’t 23 anymore.

The fact of the matter was, Dan had gotten scared and flaked out on them once before, and Phil had no idea if he was going to do it again. While it was hard for him to consider a life without Dan, it was harder for him to consider dating him again if he wasn’t in it for the long haul. At the end of the day, Phil tried his best to be the more mature and solid one in their relationship, but he was just as scared and vulnerable as his younger best friend.

As they pulled up the familiar road leading to their flat, Phil turned to shake Dan, who had already started dozing off.

“Are we home yet?” He mumbled groggily.

Phil couldn’t help but smile fondly at that word. Home.

“Yeah, it’s right up there,” Phil said, more to the cab driver than Dan. The car stopped and Phil fished his wallet out of his pocket while Dan fumbled with the door handle.

Rolling his eyes, Phil thrusted probably way more than the ride costed into the hands of the driver, “Keep the change.” He quickly exited the car and rushed over to grab Dan before he fell out.

“Thanks mate,” The cabbie said before driving off, leaving Phil to somehow get his idiot flatmate up the stairs.

“You’re lucky I love you.” He muttered.

Dan stopped cooperating abruptly, his glazed over eyes meeting Phil’s in the dim light emitted from the streetlamps. “You love me?”

“Of course I do, don’t be stupid.” Phil replied softly, “You’re my best friend.”

Dan’s eyebrows furrowed but Phil started pulling him along before he could say anything. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

“Your bed?” Dan asked with an obnoxious giggle, his mood changing instantly.

Phil chuckled. “I don’t think so.”

“But Phiiiiillll…”

After a lot of struggle, Phil finally managed to get his friend up to their apartment and pushed him into the direction of the living room, “You go sit down while I get you a glass of water.”

Phil took a couple deep breaths once he got into the kitchen alone. He filled up a glass of cold water and braced himself for conversation that awaited him.

He entered the living room and found Dan passed out on their couch. Phil silently thanked whatever force of nature gave him this reprieve and found a blanket to throw over his friend. He placed the glass of water along with a bottle of Aspirin on the table nearby for when Dan woke up with his inevitable hangover.

Phil went to bed hoping that Dan wouldn’t even remember bringing up _that_ discussion.

* * *

_iii._

“There’s my favorite two British boys!” Dan grinned as he saw [Tyler Oakley](https://twitter.com/tyleroakley/status/624686703635095552) walking towards him and Phil.

They had been all but hiding in a corner together in this YouTuber holding room at Vidcon. It’s not like they were ignoring everyone, they just didn’t feel like listening to all the self-absorbed vloggers humble brag about themselves. But the unspoken rule of any YouTube convention was that you can't avoid Tyler Oakley, the king of extroversion.

“Aw, what would Marcus and Alfie say?” Dan replied playfully, glancing over at Phil habitually.

“Yeah or all of One Direction?” Phil added with a chuckle.

“Okay, actually, let's just say I don't like choosing favorites.”

“Or,” Phil said, his eyes doing the thing they do when he's about to say something ridiculous. “you could just be really specific and say we're your favorite tall, emo fringed, British boys.”

Dan couldn't help but laugh, shaking his head.

“Oh! We _have_ to take a picture together!” Tyler exclaimed, running his hand down Dan’s arm.

Dan saw the flirty look on Tyler’s face and decided to awkwardly flirt right back.

“For Twitter or for your own personal collection?”

“One for each would be nice.” Tyler replied with an eyebrow wiggle, “Or I could just some candids on my own time later. I know where your hotel room is.”

Dan looked over at Phil, who was just smiling casually and not adding anything to the conversation. To anyone else it would seem completely normal, especially coming from Local Sunshine Angel Phil Lester. But Dan knew when he was annoyed by someone.

“Let's get this picture done then.” Dan said, pulling Tyler gently over so he was in between him and Phil. Luckily Tyler took the hint and after the selfie, quickly left to go talk someone else’s ears off.

“I will be back for those personal pictures, Dan Howell.” He said as he walked off, “Mark my words.”

Dan laughed in reply but soon after, he and Phil were back to sitting in their corner together. Though this time, silently on their phones. Dan scrolled through Twitter as Phil played the mobile game he was obsessed with this week.

“Look, he posted it,” Dan said when he got the notification that Tyler had tagged them in a tweet.

Phil glanced away from his game, “It's nice.”

Dan watched as Phil’s gaze turned from his phone back to the game. He felt frustration boiling his insides.

“You know, sometimes your whole aloof shit gets a little old.” He hissed.

Phil sighed, not looking up from his phone, “Are you seriously fighting me at Vidcon?” He didn't even stop playing his game.

“It's just so fucking frustrating when you close yourself off like this.” Dan groaned quietly, “You didn't even care when Tyler was flirting with me.”

“And why would I? He flirts with everyone.” Phil asked, still playing his game.

“Don't bullshit me, Phil.”

“We're not dating, Dan.” He said sternly, closing his app and finally looking up. “We haven't been for like two years. It was _your_ idea.”

“Well then can't it be my idea for us to get back together?”

“We are not having this conversation here.” Phil said decidedly, looking around to see if anyone was close enough to hear them.

“You turned me down the last time I wanted to have it too!” Dan exclaimed, still trying to keep his voice low even though he was getting pretty heated. “Yeah, you think I forgot every embarrassing thing I said that night. I wasn't _that_ drunk!”

“And now you're embarrassing yourself _sober_.” Phil whispered, “Maybe you should stop trying to have deep talks with me in such weird situations.”

As if on cue, someone wearing an earpiece and a Vidcon shirt came walking up to them hastily. “Uh guys, your thing is in about ten minutes, so if you wanna get over there? Promptly? That’d be great.” He gave them a double thumbs up before rushing off somewhere else.

“Now, let's go do what we came here to do.” Phil said, throwing his fake smile that he's nearly perfected. It fools almost everyone, the exceptions being his mother and Dan. He's had years of practice. If you make yourself believe you're happy, then you'll _be_ happy.

He tried to teach Dan that years ago, but it just never worked for him. When he finally learned to stop hero-worshiping Phil, he kind of realized that it was mostly repression. Even Phil Lester isn't some perfect person with his life all figured out.

That realization only made Dan love him more.

* * *

_interlude._

“Can we talk?”

Summer was quickly leaving and thankfully taking all its hot weather with it. Even though Phil wasn't in school anymore, he still felt the need to turn over a new leaf when Autumn came around. No pun intended.

He’d felt bad, selfishly denying Dan the conversation he wanted twice. Sure Dan shouldn't have brought them up at those particular times, but he also could have gotten back to him sooner once Dan made it clear he wanted to talk. It'd been a few months and he had some time to think, now he owed Dan this.

“You mean like, deep talk?” Dan asked, looking up at Phil from his sofa crease. The light from his laptop shining in his eyes. Ah, romance at its finest.

“Yeah,” Phil said, sitting down in his spot next to him, “Deep talk.”

Dan respectfully closed the lid of his laptop and looked at Phil, waiting for him to start.

“Do you want to date again?”

Phil was always anything but subtle.

“Uh,” Dan started but Phil quickly cut him off.

“Wait! Before you answer…” He looked down at his hands, avoiding eye contact. “I need to know that you're not going to freak out again. Like, this is it for me. I love you and I have for a long time, like a _long_ time. I couldn’t stop even when I _tried_. I'm in it for the long haul and if you're not, then we need to cut this off completely, like right now. I mean, romance-wise, we can still be friends. I can be mature enough for that.”

Phil was lying through his teeth. He didn't even think he could deal with just being friends. He would do almost anything to make Dan happy, but in the end, he tried to keep his self-health a priority.

“No, no I don't want to be just friends.” Dan said, confidently. “We tried both and I know which one I want. Maybe, you know, maybe I'm not ready to be like, out yet and maybe it's gonna be kind of hard to tell our fans we actually were lying all that time. But that's shit we can deal with eventually. Right now, what would make me happy is you. I don't want anyone else.”

“Oh, thank god.” Phil said with a relieved chuckle. He lunged himself forward, hugging Dan as tightly as possible. It’d been so long since they were able to be legitimately affectionate with one another. Not even just for publicity reasons, they were both trying to get over the other in real life. Unsuccessfully, clearly. Turns out love is not something that can just be turned off.

The months from the Fall of 2014 to the Spring of 2015 were filled with the joy of rediscovering each other. It was like Phil was dating Dan for the first time all over again.

His favorite thing was definitely sleeping together in Phil’s bed again. Phil always felt like Dan’s room was too cold and professional. He felt bad leaving him in there all alone every night. Especially when he could hear Dan pacing. Phil’s room felt even more like home when Dan was in it.

Also he missed kissing a lot. Like a _lot_. They were like teenagers. Phil was almost 30 and he was covering up Dan’s cheeky love bites. Because as comfortable as Dan was settling back into a romantic relationship with Phil, he was still not ready for the entire world to know. He didn't need his entire career to revolve around his sexuality, like every other Gay YouTuber.

But unfortunately, despite what he claimed to want, Dan couldn't help but shove his way into every AmazingPhil video. It started simple with another Tumblr Tag video and obviously Halloween Baking and Phil Is Not On Fire. Then Phil just kept asking him to help him film everything, even if he didn't need help. He just genuinely wanted to spend every second with Dan. Then of course, their brand new gaming channel.

Dating Dan again made Phil realize just how strong they were together. When they were apart, he tried to ignore everything their fans said, brushing it off as just ship crazy fandom nonsense. But honestly, if the world was going to constantly pair them together, they might as well just embrace it.

* * *

_iv._

The romantic getaway to Japan had been Phil’s idea. Both of them had always wanted to go and Phil had friends out there who were willing to show them around. It was a perfect opportunity for them to have a nice vacation together before they took off on this whole crazy tour thing.

Dan didn't even see the tweet until after they had landed and he finally got on a WiFi network at Duncan and Mimei's place.

““hey buddy you in london”?! What the hell is that supposed to mean?!” Dan was exclaiming to an amused Duncan and Mimei. “Did you see this shit Phil?” Dan asked, shoving his phone in Phil’s face.

“Yeah.” Phil replied, shortly.

Dan tilted his head in response, staring his boyfriend down.

“What?” Phil asked with a yawn, reaching a hand under his glasses so he could rub his face.

“You're jealous.”

Phil rolled his eyes, “I'm not jealous. I'm tired. I just got off a long flight and you know I can't sleep on planes.”

“No, you're totally jealous.” Dan smirked, “This is how you get when you're jealous.”

“I don't get jealous, Daniel.” Phil said. “Who do I have to be jealous of? I know I have you wrapped around my finger.” He wiggled the finger in question.

Dan gasped in offense, grabbing Phil’s finger. “You don't think I'd cheat on you with [Nick Jonas](https://twitter.com/nickjonas/status/586303764459560960)?”

“I _know_ you wouldn't.”

“I…” Dan frowned, letting his finger go, “Evan Peters?”

“You wouldn't.” Phil said, leaning back on Duncan and Mimei’s couch, “Face it, you love me Danny.”

“Don't call me Danny, you twat.” Dan said, though the huge grin on his face told a different story.

“What do you think he wanted though?” Dan wondered aloud a couple moments later.

“It doesn't matter what he wanted because it'sss aaall miiiine.” Phil mumbled from his spot half asleep on the couch.

“He's fucking jealous.” Dan mouthed to Duncan and Mimei, who just nodded in response.

He smiled down at Phil’s sleeping form. His beautiful, jealous boyfriend. He _did_ love him, damn it.

* * *

_v._

“So Dan, you're... single, right?”

Dan immediately burst into nervous laughter at the question. Maybe inviting [Connor Franta](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYF9WleGEPk) over to film three videos wasn't the best idea. He desperately looked over to Phil, who was supposed to be in the next room, for help but that bastard had a smug _and_ amused look on his face.

“Um, yes, Connor.” Dan replied, “Thanks for the reminder.”

They were coming out to people gradually over time. Their families and closest friends knew, and Connor did not fall under those categories.

“Oh, sorry, it's just,” Connor looked down at his feet, blushing. “You like, like guys, right? Or am I totally misinterpreting your body language and everything you say like one of your crazy fangirls, I'm so sorry!” Connor let out his last sentence in a jumbled nervous mess.

“No! Connor.” Dan exclaimed, eager to get the shorter man to stop his anxious ramblings. “I do. Um, like guys. But it's not like, a thing that is really… confirmed officially at this time.”

“Great!” Connor replied, “I mean. That's um, good. So like, I was wondering… is it weird if I like, asked you on a date?”

Dan looked over Connor’s shoulder where Phil was listening to the entire conversation, crying with the force of choked back laughter. He tried with all his might to somehow convince Phil to intervene with only his eyes.

“Dan?" Connor asked when Dan didn't reply for a while, "I'm sorry, this was totally weird of me. We do honestly barely know each other personally. I just always thought you were cute and we were kind of alike because we both like, wear black all the time and have that like, existential crisis aesthetic and I don't really know any other gay guys besides like Tyler and I just, I don't know what I was thinking.”

“I'm not gay.” Dan said.

Connor stared back at him in disbelief. “W-what?”

“I mean, I’m bi, not... gay.”

Behind Connor, Phil had to physically leave the room to run back to the bathroom and breathe for a moment.

“That's… that's what you have to say?”

Dan almost actually face palmed. “I'm sorry, Connor. Clearly, I'm an idiot and you don't want to date me. That was a terrible inclination on your part. I'm sure you regret it already.”

“Um, okay…” Connor said, still confused and a little offended.

“Hey Connor,” Phil called, walking back into the room. “I think your taxi is here.”

“Oh…” Connor replied, turning to look at Phil. “Why is your face all red? Are you okay?”

“Fine!” Phil said, maybe a little too quickly. “You should get going. He's probably running the meter the entire time you make him wait.”

But Connor wasn't listening. He was looking back and forth between Dan and Phil slowly. “Oh my god, _I’m_ the idiot.” He buried his quickly reddening face in his hands. “I just asked out Dan and you two actually _are_ dating! I thought your fandom was just nuts!”

“No, Connor, they _are_ nuts.” Dan said soothingly, placing his hand awkwardly on Connor’s back as if to comfort him. “We only started dating again about a year ago.”

“Again?!” Connor exclaimed, looking up at Dan in shock, “What did I try to get myself into?!”

“Look, it's okay,” Phil insisted, walking up to place his hand on Connor’s back too. “I know, Dan’s cute. Look at those dimples, he's practically irresistible!” Phil reached across to pinch Dan’s cheek as hard as possible. Dan endured it, only for Connor’s pride’s sake.

“I'm literally never speaking to either of you again, I'm so embarrassed.” Connor said, suddenly pulling away from their touch. He grabbed his bag and ran towards the door. “Goodbye forever.”

“Bye forever!” Phil replied playfully after him.

“Why did you do that to him!” Dan scolded as soon as the door shut, trying to repress the smile appearing on his face.

“Oh, come on, what kind of idiot _doesn't_ think we’re dating?” Phil said with an eye roll. “Especially one that spent the whole day with us, including off-camera us. I mean, he could at least have the decency to _assume_ . And not ask you out while I'm _in the next room_.”

“You're jealous!” Dan said, practically jumping in excitement.

“I told you, I don't get jealous.” Phil replied, crossing his arms, “Would a jealous boyfriend just watch while another guy asks his boyfriend out?”

“Obviously you knew I’d say no, but you still wanted to watch Connor suffer.”

“I did not!” Phil defended. “Why would I ever want to do that to him?”

“He was making a move on your man!”

“My man, are you?” Phil asked, grabbing one of Dan’s arms to pull him closer.

Dan let himself be pulled, until his face was flush against Phil’s, his nose digging into Phil’s soft cheek. “You're changing the subject.”

“No I'm not.” Phil all but breathed into Dan’s mouth.

“You're distracting me.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Shut up.”

* * *

_interlude._

“So tell me your secret.” Dan asked sleepily. He and Phil had just finished some nice domestic vanilla sex and now they were enjoying some pillow talk.

“You know all my secrets.” Phil replied, his voice was deeper and very sexy. Dan would be all hot and bothered if he hadn't just had a bunch of jizz cleaned off his stomach a couple seconds ago.

Dan groaned, “How do you not get jealous?”

“What are you talking about?” Phil sighed, closing his eyes as if he was about to go to sleep.

“I'm serious.” Dan insisted, his wide open eyes roaming Phil’s dimly lit face. “Every time a guy flirts with me, you just don't have any reaction. It kind of... makes me feel like you don't actually like me.”

Phil’s eyes flew open immediately. “Hey. Never say that. I love you. I love you so much that I trust you enough to not cheat on me.”

“Yeah, I'm not gonna cheat on you, obviously.” Dan shrugged with one shoulder. “But still, don't you get upset knowing that some other person has nefarious intentions towards me?”

“Eh,”

“Eh?!”

“Dan, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you about how pretty you are.”

Dan blushed and buried his face into his pillow to cover it. “Shut up. You're way prettier.”

“Agree to disagree.” Phil mumbled, his eyes fluttering shut again.

“Fine.”

Dan had almost fallen asleep when the soft call of his name woke him back up.

“What?”

“I do get jealous, I just don't show it because I'm not an obnoxious idiot.”

Dan was offended. “What's that supposed to mean?”

“Like whenever I'm supposed to hang out with PJ, you feel the need to chaperone.”

“I don't know what you two got up to in college.”

“Or when Jim Chapman was over and you barely left us alone long enough for us to make a video.”

“He was flirting with you with that stupid lazer pen.”

“He has a _wife_ , Dan.”

“So?!”

“Not to mention all that stuff with Charlie.”

“He _started_ that!”

“You let it continue!”

“Look, it's not my fault that you're perfect and I don't want anyone to steal you from me.” Dan pouted.

“Do you honestly think I would leave you?” Phil asked, trying to make eye contact but getting curved by Dan shoving his face into his pillow.

“Maybe… if you found someone better.” Dan said into the pillow.

“Hey,” Phil said, lightly tapping Dan’s naked shoulder until he peeked one eye out. “There's no one better for me than you.”

“How do you know? There's a lot of people in the world…”

“Do you think there's someone better for you than me?”

“... No.” Dan replied, reluctantly.

“How do you know? There's a lot of people in the world.” Phil repeated.

“Alright, you've made your point. Can we go to sleep now?”

“Not until you kiss me goodnight.”

“Needy little bitch.” He said, but leaned over to give Phil a nice long peck anyway.

And maybe a few more.

Possibly another love bite, too.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to apologize to Sam Smith. I don't really care about Nick Jonas or Connor Franta, and I especially don't care about Tyler Oakley. But Sam didn't deserve this. 
> 
> The hardest part about writing this fic was trying to link Tyler's tweet because he has me blocked on twitter. Not only did it take me ten minutes to find it on a different account, but then I had to type out the whole url twice copying it from my phone to my computer, and I couldn't even make sure the link works because when I click it I'm taken to the "you're blocked" page. Tyler please. I'm trying to give you attention, your favorite thing.


End file.
